how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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