I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
