Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
