We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
being pregnant is like rehab
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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