Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
