I wish i was in the wii world.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
