she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
