its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
