5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
