Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
