I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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