she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Randomize
