mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
