Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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