You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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