Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
