I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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