Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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