It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
