I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
