You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
