And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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