Umm I'm too high to move.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
