I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
