All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's official drugs can't kill me
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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