sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
