It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
