In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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