Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
