She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
