i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Mom said you looked used
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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