Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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