have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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