your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
