it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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