did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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