yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
