I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
