every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize