After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i out mim tonsoeep
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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