whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
