Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
