My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
