That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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