"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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