great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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