She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
