1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We named our party play list daddy issues
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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