Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
