i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i will never coherently bang her
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
