Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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