my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
