and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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