I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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