Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
