You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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